“Will you be my friend?”

Elise has started school this year – kindergarten, or Grade R as they call it here in South Africa.  She is at a lovely little pre-school just up the road from our house.  Most days she comes home with fabulous stories of crocodile games, art class with paint everywhere, songs about toothless monsters, and playground tales.  Elise is 5 and a pretty easy-going child, but she has quickly learned about “girlfriends” and “bff”s and the roller coaster of friendships!

“She told me I can’t have any other friends if I want to be her friend, Mom.”

“When she looks at me, she says, ‘ew'”

“She doesn’t want to sit by me at lunch anymore.”


This starts at age 5?  So, Elise and I have started debriefing what it means to be a friend and how God wants us to navigate through our friendships.

What do I want my dear sweet girls to know about female friendships?  Yes, there will always be mean girls.  But you don’t have to be one of them!  God has called us to something higher than that!  Something so much better!  A friend loves at all times!  There may be times when you have to use your shield of faith and stand firm in the knowledge that Jesus has declared you good and beautiful!

My challenge to Elise was to out-love these girls.  We prayed for them.  Spoke kind words over them.   And ALWAYS remembered who we are in Jesus Christ!  His beautiful daughters!!  That is who you are….no matter what someone else says about you.

Elise has had a few breakthroughs, but there are a few really “snotty” girls in her class.  Thankfully, there are also a few really sweet ones.  And that is the joy of friendship.  Even though we may sometimes experience pain in friendship, God meant for us to live in community!  And true friendship brings such joy and beauty!

So I tell my girls!  Don’t give up on friendships.  Just keep loving and protect your little heart with what Jesus says about you!  And never fall into the trap of being one of the mean girls – usually they are not really mean, but actually insecure in who they are.  Pray for them.  Love them.

So whether you are 5 or 40 – friendships are a blessing from God!  On days when they feel hard, push through!  Real friendship is so worth it.  And as far as the mean girls?  Out-love them!!!!

I am so blessed with some amazing friends!  Some of them share a town with me, some I only get to communicate via this wonderful thing we call internet, and some of them I get to see when we are home on furloughs.  I am forever grateful for all the amazing girlfriends God has blessed me with.

5 Responses to “Will you be my friend?”
  1. Ruth Reply

    Love hearing about how you are teaching your girls about friendships. One day they will love you as one of their dearest friends. And I am sure that any girl that is privleged to be their friends will be as blessed as i have been by your friendship. Thanks! : )

  2. Lee Patterson Reply

    Thanks for sharing Michelle, I love reading about your life across the pond, Uncle John and I are well , and it is hard to make friends, I know how Elise feels but your a good mom who will guide her,

  3. Deborah Reply

    “Out Love them!!!” – love that Mich! Such a great phrase :-)

    • Michelle Reply

      Loving well is something that has to be learned… so trying to learn it myself and teach it to my girls so they can love well too. :-)

  4. Valorie Young Reply

    Sorry she has to deal with mean girls, but it sounds like your working through it together!

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